Friday, January 29, 2010

I'm down to 174 pounds!

That may seem huge to a lot of people, but considering just this past summer I was well over 225 pounds, it's a huge success for me. I view it as a huge milestone. When I began my weight loss journey I was looking forward to weighing 175 pounds. It's not my goal weight by far, I'm actually aiming for about 130. However I had my sights set on little milestones along the way, like weighing less than 200 again.. a weight I'd hovered around for the past 7 years since having my twins. Then for some reason 175, and the next milestone will be 150. I'm not sure why I like those numbers, but that's what I've been looking forward to.

Right now I feel a huge sense of pride, more so than I have through out this entire journey. Even though I'm not through yet, I do feel like I've accomplished something by coming this far. It's a great feeling!

The weight loss does appear to be slowing down a lot. A couple weeks ago I stepped on the scale only to find I'd only lost 2 pounds that week. That was very depressing. I know 2 pounds is a nice, healthy weight to lose in 7 days, but I was aiming a little higher. The following week I'd lost 3 pounds, and this past week I lost 4. That's not nearly as depressing, actually it's pretty exciting, especially since I was a little worried about my weight loss this past week. Not that I'd really had any slip ups, it's just that I haven't been as energetic. I'm still doing my daily work outs at the gym, but when I get home I spend the afternoon just sort of lounging around. Normally I attempt to stay active and get some chores done, but lately I just haven't felt like it. I was worried that the scale would reflect my laziness, but I was pleasantly surprised, and thrilled that I'd reached that 175 mark!

It's sort of odd the way you see yourself when you're losing weight though. It's obvious that I've lost a lot of weight, I can certainly see it, but there are still times I look in the mirror and feel like there's really no difference in my body than there was a few months ago. I guess it's just my own constant self criticism at play, reminding myself how fat I still am and only focusing on all the negative aspects of my body. I just seem to be a lot more aware of my trouble zones than I ever used to be, and oddly enough I seem to be seeing more fat than ever before. I used to think I was just big boned, or very muscular. Now I'm seeing how much fat really is there, and wondering what it will look and feel like once it's gone.. and of course still questioning if it will ever really be gone or not.

I do hope it won't take too long to get to my next major milestone! I'm hoping to be at my goal weight before summer, hopefully around May. So with any luck I'll hit 150 in March. Hopefully I'll find my energy again soon and lose the laziness that's been hitting me in the afternoon too!!

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